F.R.E.D.

Laurie and I met a man named Robert Budd at a small gym in Encinitas. If I remember correctly, it was called the Encinitas Boxing Club. Robert and a friend named Caroline were teaching people how to use these things called kettlebells. At the time it was a bit of a craze, and Laurie and I—who were getting a little older and trying to stay healthy—decided to give it a try.

Robert was the kind of trainer you never forget. I often described him as a compassionate drill sergeant. He was tall, strong, incredibly fit, but always smiling. He had this way of encouraging you while also asking just a little bit more.

“Just one more rep.”

“Give it your all.”

He pushed you beyond what you thought you could do, but you always knew he cared.

Over the years we trained with Robert as he moved from one gym to another, and wherever he went, we followed. When our son Jacob was preparing to play football, we connected him with Robert, and Jake spent many years training with him as well. Somewhere along the way Robert stopped being just a trainer and became part of our lives. We heard about his relationship that turned into marriage, the birth of his daughter, and the different seasons he was walking through.

During that time Laurie and I were quietly living out a simple principle that had been shared with us years earlier by Bruce Johnston, the founder of JH Ranch in Northern California. It’s a way of thinking about how we interact with people, and it can be remembered with four simple letters:

F.R.E.D.

F stands for Favor.

Sometimes when we meet someone new, we have an opportunity to build favor simply by the way we treat them. A smile, encouragement, kindness, and genuine interest can open doors.

Scripture reminds us of this simple truth in Proverbs:

“Let not mercy and truth forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart, and so find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man.”

—Proverbs 3:3–4

When people encounter grace, patience, and kindness in us, favor often begins to grow.

R stands for Relationship.

Favor naturally grows into relationship. Conversations deepen, lives intersect, and we begin to share pieces of life together.

The apostle Paul once wrote something beautiful about this when he said:

“We were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.”

—1 Thessalonians 2:8

That’s really what relationship looks like. It’s simply sharing life.

E stands for Evangelism.

Sometimes people think evangelism must be formal or complicated, but often it is simply sharing your story.

Peter encouraged believers with these words:

“Always be ready to give a reason for the hope that is in you.”

—1 Peter 3:15

That hope comes out naturally when we talk about what God has done in our lives—how He has guided us, carried us through difficulty, and shown Himself faithful.

I’ve shared my story with people on golf courses, with bus drivers at the Hertz rental car lot, and with people I’ve met in everyday life.

D stands for Discipleship.

Or “Do life with them”. Discipleship doesn’t always afford us the opportunity for something structured, and sometimes people just aren’t ready for that. But as you simply do life with them—being available, modeling Christ, and walking alongside them—they begin to encounter Jesus through your life.

The writer of Hebrews puts it this way:

“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”

—Hebrews 10:24

It’s encouraging one another, praying together, and pointing each other toward the Lord.

That’s what happened with Robert.

As situations came and went in his life, we simply stayed connected. There were moments where we put a hand on his shoulder and prayed over him. We talked about our faith, about where we served, and about what faith in Jesus had done in our lives.

Eventually Robert and his family packed up and moved outside the Nashville area.

But I’ll never forget the phone call we received a few years later.

Laurie and I were sitting in the parking lot at Maranatha Church on Good Friday when Robert called. We were both in the car together listening as he shared what had happened since moving to Tennessee.

He told us that after arriving there, others came alongside him. Through those relationships something began stirring in his heart.

And then he said words I will never forget.

“I wanted to let you know that I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.”

Today Robert serves as a firefighter and also as a chaplain in two fire stations.

Then he said something that deeply touched us.

He said he was thankful for how we loved him, how we shared our story, and how we simply did life with him.

And it reminded me of something Jesus once said:

“He who believes in Me… out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.”

—John 7:38

Sometimes we don’t even realize it, but as we live our lives with Christ in us, that living water quietly flows into the lives of others.

So my encouragement to you today is this:

Look around at the people God has placed in your life. It might be a neighbor, a co-worker, a family friend, someone you just met, or someone you’ve known for years.

Build favor.

Invest in relationship.

Share your story.

And simply do life together.

Because when we live that way, people begin to encounter the living water that only Christ can give.

And sometimes, years later, you may receive a phone call that reminds you that God was working the whole time.