A few weeks ago, I received news that my good friend Pat Trenam had passed away.
Pat and I go all the way back to our days at Napa JC. We were young guys playing sports, enjoying life, and making memories without any idea where the years ahead would take us. Pat was from Petaluma, along with a bunch of his buddies who had migrated over to Napa JC. There were guys from Oakland, Canada, Miami, and all sorts of other places. It was a melting pot of young men brought together by football, basketball, baseball, and the adventure of being young.
Pat and I connected almost immediately. He was one of those guys who had the gift of gab, someone who could talk to just about anybody. We ran around San Francisco, visited my brother Bob, went to concerts, watched games, played basketball, and enjoyed life together.
As I look at this old newspaper photograph from our days at Napa JC, I can’t help but smile. There’s Pat with his blond hair, me, and a couple of the other guys, just hanging out, enjoying life. None of us had any idea where life would take us, the challenges we would face, or the people we would become.
And certainly, neither Pat nor I could have imagined that nearly 50 years later, God would use our friendship in such an extraordinary way.
But that’s the beauty of looking back. Sometimes we get to see a little of what God was doing all along.
Neither of us was carrying a Bible or having deep conversations about Jesus. We were simply two young guys having a good time.
But looking back now, I believe God was already at work.
As C.S. Lewis wrote in The Four Loves, “For a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work.”
What if some of the friendships we consider accidental are actually part of something God has been orchestrating all along?
Over the years, Pat and I went in different directions. And remember, when we first became friends, there was no internet, no Facebook, no texting. But as technology caught up with us, we eventually reconnected through Facebook. We exchanged messages, caught up on life, and I learned about some of the health challenges Pat had been facing.
Then, in 2018, Pat told me he would be visiting his daughter in Los Angeles. By this time, my own life had undergone a major transformation through my relationship with Jesus Christ. So when Pat mentioned he was coming to Southern California, I knew I wanted to see him, catch up, and share what Jesus had done in my life.
I drove up from San Diego, and we met for lunch.
It was wonderful to see him again. We hugged like two old friends who had never been apart. We laughed, caught up, and remembered the old days. During our conversation, I shared how Jesus had changed my life—not as a sermon, but simply by telling him my story. I explained that following Jesus wasn’t about religion or trying to become good enough. It was about a relationship with a loving Heavenly Father who had been pursuing me all along.
After lunch, we hugged goodbye and went our separate ways. Pat headed back to his daughter, and I drove home to San Diego.
I had no idea what would happen next.
On the very same day I learned that Pat had passed away, I received an unexpected message on Facebook Messenger from his daughter, Kaitlin.
She wasn’t even certain she had found the right Andy. She remembered her father telling her about meeting an old friend for lunch in Los Angeles back in 2018. After talking with her mother, they thought I might be that friend.
So she reached out, asking whether I was the Andy who had met with her dad and shared his faith with him.
And then she told me something I had never known.
After our lunch that day in 2018, Pat pulled over on the side of the road and accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. He was ready to follow the Good Shepherd.
I was stunned.
All these years, I had no idea what had happened after we said goodbye.
But what made her message even more meaningful was learning that Kaitlin had been praying for her dad and sharing her faith with him for years. She had longed for him to know Jesus, and now, even in the sadness of losing her father, she had the incredible peace of knowing that he was home with his Savior.
And here I was, learning for the very first time that a simple lunch between two old friends had been part of God’s answer to a daughter’s prayers.
Go Jesus! 🙌🏻
That news made me think about my own journey. I spent years trying to figure life out on my own, only to discover that Jesus had been there all along. He wasn’t waiting for me to clean myself up or get my act together. He was waiting for me to turn toward Him and receive His love.
I believe that’s what happened to Pat. He wasn’t simply beginning a new religion. He wasn’t signing up for a lifetime of oughts and don’ts. He was beginning a relationship with the Savior who had been pursuing him through his daughter’s prayers, an old friendship, and one simple conversation.
Nothing random.
When I think about all those young men who arrived at Napa JC from different towns, different states, and even different countries, I can’t help but smile. We thought we were simply there to play sports, go to school, and enjoy ourselves.
And we were.
But perhaps God was also doing something much bigger. Planting seeds, building friendships, connecting lives, and preparing moments that wouldn’t come to fruition for years, maybe even decades.
I certainly didn’t know in those days that I would someday drive to Los Angeles to share my faith with Pat. And Pat couldn’t have known that a friendship beginning on a junior college campus would one day play a part in his journey to Jesus.
But God knew.
I’m grateful for the friendship Pat and I shared nearly 50 years ago. I’m grateful we had the chance to reconnect. And I’m especially grateful that God allowed me to play a small part in Pat’s journey to Jesus.
It wasn’t about anything special I said that day. I don’t even remember all the words we exchanged. It was about a faithful God who was working in Pat’s life long before that lunch ever happened.
And I was simply blessed to be available for one small part of it.
What a privilege.
So cherish your friendships. Think about the people God has brought into your life over the years. The childhood friend, the college roommate, the teammate, the neighbor, the person you met through work, or the friend you haven’t talked to in 20 years.
Maybe there’s someone who has been on your mind lately, and you don’t really know why.
Reach out.
Make the call.
Send the text.
Have the lunch.
Tell them you love them.
And if Jesus has transformed your life, don’t be afraid to share your story. You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t need to know every verse in the Bible. You don’t have to be a pastor or a theologian.
Just be available.
Because you never know what God may already be doing in someone’s heart. You may be part of a prayer that someone else has been praying for years. And you may never know, this side of heaven, what God did with that simple act of friendship.
I didn’t know what happened to Pat after our lunch in 2018.
But now I do.
And I can’t tell you what a gift that is.
I’m so grateful for his daughter’s message, so grateful for her faithful prayers, and so grateful for a friendship that began all those years ago.
Most of all, I’m grateful for Jesus.
Because I believe that Pat is home with Him today.
And one day, I’ll see my old friend again.
Maybe we’ll laugh about those days at Napa JC. Maybe we’ll talk about the concerts, the games, and all those adventures in San Francisco.
But one thing I know.
We’ll both understand something we couldn’t see back then.
There was nothing random about our friendship.
Our Heavenly Father was at work all along.
“You did not choose me, but I chose you.” — John 15:16
Nothing random. Just a loving Father, a beautiful friendship, and a Savior who never stopped pursuing us.
Go Jesus! 🙌🏻